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Clinton St. Baking Company

4 Clinton St. between Houston and Stanton, Lower East Side

It seems like Clinton St. is a magnet for snarky, snobby comments from those unamed folks who actually charge money for their reviews. Well, I guess with all the reputable restaurants concentrated in such a small, LES enclave removed from the defintively outre Ludlow-Orchard axis, Clinton is fair game for those who like to make grand pronouncements and fancy themselves tastemakers. I knew Wylie back in the day, when we were chasing girls with frogs and riding our big wheels, tasting wild mushrooms to get high, not to put in some sort of demi-glace, so shove it!

So I guess I was supposed to talk about a restaurant. Objectively. Its hard for me to do anything objectively, especially when the hostesses bring buttery, crispy on the outside / soft on the inside silver-dollar pancakes to the middling masses waiting eagerly outside. Its a great touch, and unfortunately the service highlight of the meal. Our waitress, who seemed sweet enough, dissapeared for long, long periods of time. Nothing against the busboys, but I like it better when the pretty girl who took my order also brings my food, pours my coffee without being asked forty-two times, and actually asks how my food is. Maybe I'm being picky, but I thought that waitresses wait and busboys bus, and cooks, well, you get the point.

Despite my service gripe, the food is good, substantial american brunch fare, with some creative twists on the avowed classics. What twists? How about Crabcake Eggs Benedict, with the english muffin booted in favor of a crabcake. If I actually liked seafood, I'd tell you what it tasted like, but rest assured, my friend's mom, who has a very refined pallette, loved it. A country breakfast plate comes loaded with the tastiest, yellowest farm-fresh egg I've ever had, crusty, crunchy hash browns, a thick slab of country ham, and a big-ass biscuit. Which brings us back to the whole baking company thing. The restaurant features a full array of very good, premise-baked nibbles, including the aforementioned biscuit and a plethora of scones, all available to go if you wish. Oh and Wylie says they serve dinner too, no frogs.